Ok. I’m not a mom. But while I don’t know the feeling of having a child running around my legs, I do know that “letting myself” go would be an unfair accusation – however this article points out a step-by-step guide to making sure that post-labor mommies are looking good…and by that I mean wearing hot camo pants.
There are so many things wrong with this list.
First off, it speaks only to those who can afford to shop, shop, shop, and even makes light of REAL life families who struggle everyday to put food on the table, “Even if you're on a tight budget, our tips can help you feel your best even on the days you have run out of diapers, can't find your car keys (again) and have just discovered you've been walking around for hours with spit-up on your shoulder (again!).”
Yeah because their suggestions are so much more important than paying the heating bill:
1. They suggest getting big Angelina Jolie-type glasses to hide the puffy, black circles under the eyes of moms. Um. That’s called sleep deprivation, and what we should be suggesting is more resource allocation from the powers-that-be, so that mothers don’t have to work two jobs, plus maintain the family and home.
2. They suggest subscribing to a newspaper so that they can have “good conversation skills,” something the authors’ feel their “husbands will appreciate.” Hmm. How about the conversations one can have at work, during business meetings, etc? Oh yeah. That’s right. Women are supposed to stay home. Silly me. I forgot.
And the over-arching heteronormativity of this article is just flat-out gross. All references to a partner in the home center around a husband. This means that a). the woman is in a heterosexual relationship, and b). that she has committed to the “morally correct” choice of taking religious and legal vows.
Thus, this article does not speak to those who are in long-term relationships with someone they choose not to marry, or someone the powers-that-be have decided for them that they cannot marry (i.e. lesbian mothers). This article does not address women who like being single, but are also mothers.
Apparently “being hip” is the only way to maintain self-respect, so I guess these writers don’t mind letting all other situations fall to the wayside.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Transgender Inmates' Have Rights Too
The Inmate Sex Change Prevention law DENIES transgender inmates from accessing hormones, etc, which are required to maintain their identity. Prisons can deny inmates these drugs, but as three transgender people state in a federal case against the corrections system, “stopping their treatments would be a form of cruel and unusual punishment, and would violate their right to equal protection under law.”
The real issue here is that many say that those who are not comfortable in their body, and are seeking to reveal the real them – i.e. the gender they identify as – are mentally unstable. We are supposed to be who we are: those born with a penis are boys (and masculine), and those born with a vagina are girls (and feminine). No exceptions. No wiggle room.
Ugh.
These debates feel like they go on and on, round and round. What is it about forcing someone in to a box? Why?
Please find out if your state is actively denying transgender inmates important hormone treatments. If so call them, email them, and tell everyone you know that the perpetuation of "moral" gender identification is wrong. This is especially important to those who already have so many of their human rights stripped because they sit in a jail cell.
The real issue here is that many say that those who are not comfortable in their body, and are seeking to reveal the real them – i.e. the gender they identify as – are mentally unstable. We are supposed to be who we are: those born with a penis are boys (and masculine), and those born with a vagina are girls (and feminine). No exceptions. No wiggle room.
Ugh.
These debates feel like they go on and on, round and round. What is it about forcing someone in to a box? Why?
Please find out if your state is actively denying transgender inmates important hormone treatments. If so call them, email them, and tell everyone you know that the perpetuation of "moral" gender identification is wrong. This is especially important to those who already have so many of their human rights stripped because they sit in a jail cell.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Last ditch efforts to save kids until marriage
Here we again. Just as we are rounding out Bush’s term, we see that his administration is pushing their conservative, heterosexual agenda. This time, on kids.
A new television ad tells young people that they are worth it if they wait to have sex, but like this article points out, it never reminds kids that they are STILL “worth it” if they do engage in sexual activities. In fact, because this type of campaigning against reproductive and sexual health has never been proven to work, it makes it harder to resist rolling one’s eyes at the unrealistic agenda.
What’s more, one will notice that towards the end of this ad, a call for abstinence until marriage is prescribed, which thereby limits “worthiness” to only those who can legally marry, and to those who want to get legally married – which means that a whole slew of LGBT young people, as well as heterosexual adolescents who feel marriage is not for them, are not getting their needs properly addressed.
This is not to say that the ad is not correct in asking parents/guardians to talk about sex with their kids. It’s a good thing to have an open-door policy, to offer guidance. However, telling them only to wait, and not supplying other areas of support in case they do engage and are scared, excited, or find themselves pregnant, with an STD, or otherwise, is not fair to anyone.
A new television ad tells young people that they are worth it if they wait to have sex, but like this article points out, it never reminds kids that they are STILL “worth it” if they do engage in sexual activities. In fact, because this type of campaigning against reproductive and sexual health has never been proven to work, it makes it harder to resist rolling one’s eyes at the unrealistic agenda.
What’s more, one will notice that towards the end of this ad, a call for abstinence until marriage is prescribed, which thereby limits “worthiness” to only those who can legally marry, and to those who want to get legally married – which means that a whole slew of LGBT young people, as well as heterosexual adolescents who feel marriage is not for them, are not getting their needs properly addressed.
This is not to say that the ad is not correct in asking parents/guardians to talk about sex with their kids. It’s a good thing to have an open-door policy, to offer guidance. However, telling them only to wait, and not supplying other areas of support in case they do engage and are scared, excited, or find themselves pregnant, with an STD, or otherwise, is not fair to anyone.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Update on the proposed Employment Non-Discrimination Act (EDNA)
Quick update on the ENDA, a legislative bill that ensures discrimination is not happening at the work place:
A decision to remove gender identification from the amendments was made, and the bill is now only focusing on sexual orientation marginalization. For obvious reasons groups around the country are in uproar. To only recognize one is unfair, and there does not seem to be a point to removing gender identity from the language.
GayWired reports: "In addition to the missing vital protections for transgender people on the job, this new bill also leaves out a key element to protect any employee, including lesbians and gay men who may not conform to their employer's idea of how a man or woman should look and act,” Cathcart said in the release. “This is a huge loophole through which employers sued for sexual orientation discrimination can claim that their conduct was actually based on gender expression, a type of discrimination that the new bill does not prohibit.”
A decision to remove gender identification from the amendments was made, and the bill is now only focusing on sexual orientation marginalization. For obvious reasons groups around the country are in uproar. To only recognize one is unfair, and there does not seem to be a point to removing gender identity from the language.
GayWired reports: "In addition to the missing vital protections for transgender people on the job, this new bill also leaves out a key element to protect any employee, including lesbians and gay men who may not conform to their employer's idea of how a man or woman should look and act,” Cathcart said in the release. “This is a huge loophole through which employers sued for sexual orientation discrimination can claim that their conduct was actually based on gender expression, a type of discrimination that the new bill does not prohibit.”
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Adrienne Rich...
UPDATE. I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN DIRECTED TO A SERIES OF BOOKS THAT MS. RICH HAS COAUTHORED ABOUT THE SINGULAR INCLUSION OF BIOLOGICALLY-BORN WOMEN IN THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT. SHE HAS FOUGHT (AND IS APPARENTLY STILL FIGHTING) THE TRANSGENDER POPULATION, AS SHE IS OPPOSED TO THEIR VOICE IN THE REALM OF FEMINIST JUSTICE. I CANNOT SUPPORT SUCH HATRED -- ESPECIALLY FROM SOMEONE WHO NEGATES ALL HER WORK BY PUSHING FOR FAIRNESS ON THE ONE HAND, BUT THEN SELECTING ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE ON THE OTHER. IT IS SHOCKING AND GROSS TO ME. AND REALLY, SHE GOES AGAINST REAL FEMINISTS WHO AGREE THAT A HATRED OF MEN (AND SHE CLEARLY BELIEVES THAT MTF'S ARE MEN, EVEN IF THEY DO NOT IDENTIFY AS SUCH) IS COUNTERPRODUCTIVE. WE ALL LIVE IN THIS WORLD TOGETHER -- CATERING TO ONLY ONE SEGMENT DOES NOTHING FOR THE HOLISTIC FIGHT. PLEASE READ THE COMMENTS ATTACHED TO THIS POST TO HEAR THE WORDS OF READERS WHO DISAGREED (AND SHOULD HAVE). THANK YOU. PLEASE SEND ANY INFORMATION ABOUT TRANSPHOBIA TO ME AT BONNIESCHINDLER@YAHOO.COM
Last night I went to see the famed feminist poet Adrienne Rich speak on Columbia’s campus. The room was packed – people sat cross-legged on the radiator against the wall; made spots for themselves in the middle of the stairs, and stood at the doorway to hear her speak.
She never stood up, as she is nearing her 77th year on this Earth; and she never explained her poems – requesting that we decipher its meaning on our own…that they should speak for themselves.
Her readings were beautiful. I am particularly drawn to her artisan expressions of love, war, hate, fear and beauty because of her history.
Ms. Rich spent 20 years in a relationship with her husband until one day he committed suicide. Thrown in to a different world, she began standing with the feminist movement and understanding who she was as a person; she came out as a lesbian, and she continued to make social justice appropriations. She has won numerous awards, and I believe the person introducing her last night said that she has over 400,000 pieces of paper boasting her works.
Particularly, she has written about the idea of compulsory heterosexualism, and the lesbian experience. However, she did not speak much of this last night – even though Ms. Rich did open up the evening with a poem about the importance of finding one’s home; questioning whether or not it is the journey, or if it is the actual place to finally lay one’s head, that is most important.
Pulling out my trusty feminism papers from undergrad, I located notes I wrote about Adrienne Rich, and thought I would share:
• Women are supposedly the earliest sources for emotional bondage to children, but why, then, do women constantly redirect their search for love and tenderness in men. Meaning, if women are supposedly natural caregivers, then why do we need to be reminded of ourselves by our patriarchs?
• Adrienne Rich believes that if more men would take on the role of mothering, less hype would be around the issue of mothers (women) and children.
• She identifies the characteristics of male power:
- To deny women their own sexuality – i.e. restrictions against
orgasms, masturbating, destruction of literature or other that
include sex or lesbianism
- Force male sexuality upon them – meaning rape, incest, creating
socialization of women in order to increase male sex drive,
advertising, pornographic depictions, etc
- To command or exploit women’s labor to control produce, marrying or
having children but not giving an income;segregation of women paid
in employment; male control of abortion, contraception, etc., and
pimping out women as sex workers.
- Seizure of children from lesbian homes (or maybe not allowing lesbian
couples to adopt); genital mutilation
- To confine them physically and prevent their movement by means of
rape or terrorism, foot binding, the veil, sexual harassment, etc
- Use women as objects in male transactions – the use of women as
gifts, pimping, arraigned marriages, call girls, cocktail waitresses
required to dress fro male titillation, prostitutes.
- Cramp women’s creativeness – witch persecutions, campaigns against
midwives; restriction of female self-fulfillment to marriage and
motherhood.
- To withhold from them large areas of the society’s knowledge and
cultural attainments – non-education of females, sex-role tracking
which deflects women in science, technology, and other “masculine”
pursuits
• Adrienne Rich points out that all women are part of the lesbian continuum because women are handled by other women (mothers, grandmothers, caregivers, etc), and they have children...a constant continuum of womanhood, bonding.
• Many women, she says, live separate lives with other women outside of their marriages.
• We should not think of the heterosexual lifestyle as normal, but the view has actually been imposed on us by men. Heterosexuality has been forcibly and subliminally imposed on women.
• Just because women are in heterosexual relationships does not always mean that they prefer heterosexual relationships – they marry men for economical reasons; to avoid social ostracism; to do what is expected of women.
• If a relationship is based on a double life (meaning you get beat by your man, but you still love him), then she says that sex is then equated with attention from the male, who is charismatic, though brutal, infantile; and that women are often put in to a place where women make one another’s life endurable…helping to care for the shame, pain, give advice, etc.
• That being said, Adrienne Rich always stressed that being a lesbian does not stem from a hatred of men – however it was made a negative word by the patriarch.
Last night I went to see the famed feminist poet Adrienne Rich speak on Columbia’s campus. The room was packed – people sat cross-legged on the radiator against the wall; made spots for themselves in the middle of the stairs, and stood at the doorway to hear her speak.
She never stood up, as she is nearing her 77th year on this Earth; and she never explained her poems – requesting that we decipher its meaning on our own…that they should speak for themselves.
Her readings were beautiful. I am particularly drawn to her artisan expressions of love, war, hate, fear and beauty because of her history.
Ms. Rich spent 20 years in a relationship with her husband until one day he committed suicide. Thrown in to a different world, she began standing with the feminist movement and understanding who she was as a person; she came out as a lesbian, and she continued to make social justice appropriations. She has won numerous awards, and I believe the person introducing her last night said that she has over 400,000 pieces of paper boasting her works.
Particularly, she has written about the idea of compulsory heterosexualism, and the lesbian experience. However, she did not speak much of this last night – even though Ms. Rich did open up the evening with a poem about the importance of finding one’s home; questioning whether or not it is the journey, or if it is the actual place to finally lay one’s head, that is most important.
Pulling out my trusty feminism papers from undergrad, I located notes I wrote about Adrienne Rich, and thought I would share:
• Women are supposedly the earliest sources for emotional bondage to children, but why, then, do women constantly redirect their search for love and tenderness in men. Meaning, if women are supposedly natural caregivers, then why do we need to be reminded of ourselves by our patriarchs?
• Adrienne Rich believes that if more men would take on the role of mothering, less hype would be around the issue of mothers (women) and children.
• She identifies the characteristics of male power:
- To deny women their own sexuality – i.e. restrictions against
orgasms, masturbating, destruction of literature or other that
include sex or lesbianism
- Force male sexuality upon them – meaning rape, incest, creating
socialization of women in order to increase male sex drive,
advertising, pornographic depictions, etc
- To command or exploit women’s labor to control produce, marrying or
having children but not giving an income;segregation of women paid
in employment; male control of abortion, contraception, etc., and
pimping out women as sex workers.
- Seizure of children from lesbian homes (or maybe not allowing lesbian
couples to adopt); genital mutilation
- To confine them physically and prevent their movement by means of
rape or terrorism, foot binding, the veil, sexual harassment, etc
- Use women as objects in male transactions – the use of women as
gifts, pimping, arraigned marriages, call girls, cocktail waitresses
required to dress fro male titillation, prostitutes.
- Cramp women’s creativeness – witch persecutions, campaigns against
midwives; restriction of female self-fulfillment to marriage and
motherhood.
- To withhold from them large areas of the society’s knowledge and
cultural attainments – non-education of females, sex-role tracking
which deflects women in science, technology, and other “masculine”
pursuits
• Adrienne Rich points out that all women are part of the lesbian continuum because women are handled by other women (mothers, grandmothers, caregivers, etc), and they have children...a constant continuum of womanhood, bonding.
• Many women, she says, live separate lives with other women outside of their marriages.
• We should not think of the heterosexual lifestyle as normal, but the view has actually been imposed on us by men. Heterosexuality has been forcibly and subliminally imposed on women.
• Just because women are in heterosexual relationships does not always mean that they prefer heterosexual relationships – they marry men for economical reasons; to avoid social ostracism; to do what is expected of women.
• If a relationship is based on a double life (meaning you get beat by your man, but you still love him), then she says that sex is then equated with attention from the male, who is charismatic, though brutal, infantile; and that women are often put in to a place where women make one another’s life endurable…helping to care for the shame, pain, give advice, etc.
• That being said, Adrienne Rich always stressed that being a lesbian does not stem from a hatred of men – however it was made a negative word by the patriarch.
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